A few (old) diary entries

I wrote a few diary entries. I reread them and will now paraphrase myself.


8 September 2010, 12:45

Dear Whoever

I want to die. Dead people don't have to worry about anything. They also don't have to hope for anything. That would be nice, not having to worry about or hope for anything.

There's a stupid wedding. I don't want to go. But some things you have to do. Like when my ex colleague bullies me into going to drink/party/hangout with her in the CBD in the middle of the day. A Tuesday. I love Hana. My best friend. Hana is nice. She always gets me out of the house. Keeps me company when I am depressed. She thinks depressed people shouldn't be alone. I would like to agree with her, however, I don't really like being around people when I am depressed. People make me more depressed. Tomorrow probably I will feel better again.

I remember how I felt when Mike died. I didn't go to say goodbye. I felt awful all day. I didn't want to go to the hospital because I didn't know what I was going to see there. I wanted to go because I knew I'd never see him again. Now I feel awful for not knowing if I should go to Kay's wedding or not. Aaah! Cancer and weddings really shouldn't be compared with each other!

I have to pack. I have to throw my shit away. I have to move. I have to find a job. I have to ask Dad to get my documents for me. I have to find out if I actually need the documents. I guess it would be best if I move in with Hammer and Highly Strung. They did invite me. Then I save money and more importantly then I am with someone. Maybe I need to be with someone. But I am going to miss Seoul. But I may be happier in Jeonju. But I don't know how to make tea the way they drink it. I won't be of any use to them since I can't cook to save my life. I have absolutely nothing to give them in return.

There is a problem if you are "brutally honest". Nooo! described me as being brutally honest. I should learn to shut up. Being direct can only be a bad thing.

So I have learned to go running/gymming/drinking when I am depressed. I have lost quite some weight, and met wonderful friends. How I love my friends!

I am sad. "Come with me to the hashes. Let's go drinking. Let's go clubbing. Let's go out for dinner." But Hana is always busy drinking over the weekends. With her friends. Or she's sleeping. Alone, just sleeping. She doesn't want to come hash with me. She doesn't want to do anything with me if I'm the one asking. ㅠㅠ

ㅠㅠ Timberballs gave my sunglasses to some other girl. Fuck. They were aviators. They didn't actually fit, but they were my favourites. I'll just get other ones. That fit.


8 September 2010, 21:00

Headed for Noksapyeong. Phillies' Quiz Night. I shouldn't have come. I have no idea where it is. I heard about it from 33 & 2/3 Below. There's a Bible Expo in Korea. What is that? [Our team was runners up. We won beer!]


10 September 2010, 17:15

Shit, I should have taken the subway to Yongsan Station to get a train to NQR, Pyeongtaek. Now I'm on a bus going nowhere very slowly... I showed up at Yongsan a whole hour too early. I'm losing my mind! All this sitting around jobless is not helping!

I ran with Rumours & Bullshit. Then I walked with Steven and Kailen. Lucky Pierre said I have lost weight. I've probalby lost 1 or 2kg since we met at Nut 'n Bone's birthday party on 21 August.

I have decided I will be the smart one. I will not fight over a man that doesn't want me. He wants some other girl who already has another boyfriend. I want someone who wants me. But first...

At the on-after I drank way too much. I drank like a fish. Nooo! told me that Bedroom Buccaneer had left her boyfriend to be with him. I was very angry, so I beat Nooo! up. GI Ho or someone carried me out. The next morning I had a cut across the bridge of my nose, a bruise on my forehead and knee, and a sore shoulder and knuckles. If I remember correctly, Nooo! had at least a cut lip, black eye, scratches on his neck, and he may have had sore balls.


11 September 2010, 14:07

Oh shit! I missed the bus to Songtan with one minute. I'm on my way to the OBH3 in Osan.... :D

Yesterday was interesting. The airmen and -women paraded around the Osan Airbase. I played cards with Count Crankula and Thai Cheese. Rumours & Bullshit got named today. Some pretty girl got named What Wouldn't Debbie Do (I volunteered this name after someone said What Wwould Debbie Do).

Nooo! and I looked on while some strange guy seranaded to BB with his guitar.


12 September 2010, 17:00

I went to Southside, somewhere by the river. I didn't feel well at all this morning and I wasn't going to run, but I changed my mind. I ran most of the way, and it was quite fun. There was some Korean/Chinese virgin there, and another ginger named Rachel or Facial. I grabbed the Korean's boob in the Wolfhound. She told me "I'm expensive!" She also told all of us how much she hates Americans (or was that foreigners in general?) and that she's only there out of her "generosity". Pump Friction went all loopy after that. It was fun to watch. I'm sure 3Man had a good time, he sat in between me and her.


15 September 2010, 11:00

I went to a job interview in Hanam City, Gyeonggido Province. The principal's coffee table looked like a coffin. It had flowers under the glass table top. I got the job.

I miss Mister Blister. He's on vacation in America.


26 September 2010, 14:00

On my way back from the Jeonju H4 Vicars & Tarts Hash. It was fun, I met nice people there. I have missed my first S2H3 hash.


13 October 2010, 19:00

On my way to Nash Hash #6, Changsin Station, line 6, exit 1. Timber's taxi took him elsewhere, maybe Chongsin. Shame.

Yesterday at Delta Hash in Bless U, Sherpa told me "nobody likes you". I didn't appreciate that comment, so I just went on a normal solo run. I ran all the way up to Namsan Tower's gate, down some stairs and back up again, and all the way back to Itaewon. When I got back I didn't want to go into the bar, so I waited outside for circle to finish, but Sparta and Dick Gobbler dragged me up the stairs. Then I went to get my cycling shirts from Ate Ball. He and Fore Ball had borrowed them a while ago, and I really wanted them back before they left for Qatar and the US.

I really wasn't sure what to do after the little 'niksnits' said those mean things to me. Should I never go back to the hashes? Should I just ignore the little twit? Some time later, a fellow hasher gave me the answer. Thanks TB.


14 October 2010

The miners in Chile are out! All 33 of them.


17 October 2010, 17:20

On my way to Japan. I went to every single one of the Nash Hashes. I just came from the last one. The Beer Mile I'm missing, but it doesn't count, so that's OK.

Hong Kong Dong Wrong's Oakleys are nice!


17 October 2010, 20:20

On my way back to Korea. I need a visa to go to Japan. So now they are mailing me back to where I came from. [I don't think effing Hana Tour has paid me back half my ticket yet. It's already 21 December.]

I didn't like the airport at Osaka. There was a yellow line that told me to STOP, and the immigration booths were all caged up. The little room I had to wait in with some Indian guy was cold and hospital-like.